


Old Habits Die Hard

by WintersCurse



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Bulimia, Cutting, Eating Disorders, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Seriously allllll the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersCurse/pseuds/WintersCurse
Summary: Dinner meant old habits were easy to slip back into and old insecurities bubbled at the surface once more
Relationships: Evie/Mal (Disney)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is all the angst I'm afraid. Nothing but angst

Dinner was always hard. 

Dinner meant old habits were easy to slip back into and old insecurities bubbled at the surface once more. 

Dinner meant Evie chatting away at nobody in particular to hide that she wasn’t eating. 

Dinner meant Evie couldn’t stop herself from staring at all the other girls and their pretty faces and small waists and their perfect hair. 

She envied the way they ate without any concerns and she envied how their chatters were of genuine enjoyments and not a mask and she envied how confident they looked. 

But above all she envied their skinny figures with wide hips and big breasts. 

Princess figures. 

Figures that would’ve made her mother proud. 

Unlike Evie’s body and the way fat protruded in places she didn’t want it but her chest was too flat and her hair too brittle. And how her face was too gaunt and too chubby at the same time and no amount of makeup could ever hide it. 

The therapist that Fairy Godmother had made her talk to said that was an eating disorder talking. 

Evie said that it was just the truth. 

Mal said that Evie was perfect, but that she should eat more. 

Mal was lying. Those two statements cancelled each other out, after all, and so both must be a lie. 

But she wished it was true so desperately. She wanted to be able to enjoy food, to enjoy meals with her friends, but then she would never be perfect. Then she would never have a body people admired. 

Then she would have to go through her life with the same disgusted looks and sneers. 

Then her mother would never love her.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner was always hard. 

Dinner meant learned impulses were hard to control and suspicious looks were even harder to ignore.

Dinner meant Jay slipping wrapped food and cutlery into his pockets whenever people weren’t looking, and even when they were. 

Dinner meant Jay tallying up the worth of what he had in his pockets and trying not to get angry when it wasn’t enough. 

It was never enough. 

He was in Auradon- surrounded by magic and riches and food and important people. Everything that his father had ever wanted was within his grasp. He could make his father a king and he could make his father powerful. 

And then his father would have to love him, right? Jay would be giving him everything he’d ever wanted so there would be no more beatings, no more disappointment, no more anger. 

Jafar would have everything he’d ever wanted, and so would Jay. 

Carlos would say that it wasn’t truly what Jay wanted. That Jafar being powerful would only make him worse and higher expectations would be placed on Jay and Jay would get hurt more. 

That Carlos and Evie and Mal, the people he’d sacrificed everything for, would get hurt more. 

But Jay wasn’t so sure. Jafar was only angry and bitter because Jay wasn’t good enough. 

And he could dream of the day he came home with full pockets and promises of a powerful future, and his father would love and praise him, couldn’t he?


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner was always hard. 

Dinner meant flinches were difficult to hide and old fears came spilling over once again. 

Dinner meant Carlos taking as little food as possible, then giving what he had taken away. 

Dinner meant Carlos constantly tugging his sleeves down around his wrists and avoiding eye contact with the others at his table. 

They meant well, really- or as well as anyone from the Isle could mean. Especially Jay, who had seen him sneak into the bathroom too many nights. 

But it was always Evie that put a little extra on his plate, and it was always Evie that was extra careful when she reached across and took his wrist. 

He wished she didn’t give him more food. 

He’d pass it away, mostly. But sometimes he gave in to the hunger that clawed at his stomach and threatened to tear apart his brain. 

He hated giving in to the hunger. 

It was comforting at the time- it tasted nice and it made him feel full- but he always felt awful after. Awful and sick and gross. Especially when he was purging with tears on his face and hoping Jay couldn’t hear. 

Jay always heard. 

Carlos is pretty sure Evie knows, too. Evie always watches how he flinches, how he guards his sleeves, how he slips food away. 

Evie tells him that he’s ok how he is. That’s he’s strong and capable and worthy. That if he were nothing, they would have left him long ago. 

His mother would disagree. She would say he’s pathetic and irrelevant and annoying. That they’re just waiting for the perfect moment to let him slip. 

And his mother’s always right.


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner was always hard. 

Dinner meant irrationally surges of rage and possessiveness if someone even looked in her general direction. 

Dinner meant Mal snarling and glaring and threatening.

Dinner meant Mal raging war within herself between who she was raised to be and who she was. 

She was built upon anger, evil threaded through her veins. Whole kingdoms could be hers if she wanted them. 

And she did want them. 

She wanted to gaze down at whole kingdoms at her feet. She wanted to take back the Moors, wash away Auradon in storms of blood. 

She wanted to look upon Maleficent’s face as she realised just how dangerous Mal was. 

The fear that would be in her eyes. The anger, the pain, the betrayal. 

The pride. 

Carlos said that wasn’t what Mal actually wanted. Who Mal actually was. 

But what did he know. What did anyone know about her. 

She was a creature of evil. An empress in the making. Her magic was anger and wrath in its purest form. 

And the only ones that would escape it’s warpath were Evie, Carlos, and Jay. 

That was her rebellion. That was her compromise. 

And her mother could have no say in the matter.


End file.
